


Secrets to Hold

by cadkitten



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Comeplay, Desire, Hand & Finger Kink, M/M, Marijuana, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Shotgunning, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7323313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every hand held secrets, things that it had done that perhaps no one knew about. Personal moments, memories of the past: good or bad - all of those were things that hands <i>knew</i>. A rough palm told stories of its own, the scent of a hand uncovered the recent past, the warmth or coldness of it indicated either where a person had been or what they'd been holding. Every callus was a moment of repetition and every scar a blocked bid for life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets to Hold

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't get the image out of my head... not sorry. At this point, I'm not sure if I read something that triggered this or if I just imagined it all in my mind. So if someone wrote JayDami kissing due to a cigarette, well, props on you for making such an impact on me! Regardless, here it is!  
> Beta Readers: kate1zena  
> Song[s]: "Beautiful Pain" by Eminem (ft. Sia)

Damian's fingers brushed over the door frame, playing lightly over the metal track before he stepped out onto the balcony, drawing the sliding glass door shut behind him. For an instant, he remained right there, pressed against the glass before he engaged his feet, drawing himself over to Jason's side. Relaxing against the wrought iron railing, he gazed out over the city below them. It was different here than it was at the manor; the calmness was different, though still oddly present. 

He heard the flare of Jason's lighter and the gentle inhale of breath. One curious glance toward Jason and he looked away again, listening as somewhere off in the distance someone's bass thumped hard in their car. With Bruce out of town, he'd decided Alfred deserved a vacation and had sent him away for the weekend, which had left him needing a partner for patrol. As loathe as he was to admit it, he and Jason teamed up pretty well. Jason's give-no-fucks attitude left Damian being the one who pulled his punches, who aimed to be the softer of the two when they were out on the streets, and it put him in an interesting head space. It had been their second night out and Damian honestly felt at ease here, idly enjoying the last pieces of the night as it faded off into the morning.

Jason's hand came to rest on the railing, cigarette held lightly between his index and middle fingers. His thumb flicked ash from it, an action that left Damian staring at the damn thing, his heart beating a little bit quicker in his chest. It was pathetic, really, and had _nothing_ to do with the cigarette. 

As he'd grown up, he'd started to understand there were certain things about himself that he'd simply yet to uncover. When he began to - an ushering from early teens into late teens and then early twenties - it had been with an air of _so what_. So he enjoyed looking at people's _hands_. That hadn't been much of a shock; he'd often found himself looking at other people's fingers, judging the length of them, the strength of their grip. But when he'd started watching certain adult videos near the end of his teens, he'd figure out it ran deeper than that.

Every hand held secrets, things that it had done that perhaps no one knew about. Personal moments, memories of the past: good or bad - all of those were things that hands _knew_. A rough palm told stories of its own, the scent of a hand uncovered the recent past, the warmth or coldness of it indicated either where a person had been or what they'd been holding. Every callus was a moment of repetition and every scar a blocked bid for life. So when he'd found himself watching the actor's hands more than anything else, it had really been no surprise. 

But that wasn't where it stopped. It grew into the things that hands held; mostly those of a _phallic_ nature. Guns and cigarettes, escrima sticks and actual _cocks_. His twenties had offered him the knowledge that there was a reason for that as well, a desperate longing to put those things _in his mouth_ that had resulted in more than one strange situation within his sex life thus far. He could still remember the first time he'd ended up on his knees, the first taste of cum spilling over his tongue... and the beginning of an addiction. 

It was rare he found a way to indulge beyond his body's own offerings, beyond sucking on his own fingers until he lost himself and licked it all away. When he found the opportunity, it was always met with enthusiasm and he _always_ put his all into it.

Jason's hand lifted, holding the cigarette out to him with a sound that Damian knew was meant to replace the obvious question. Reaching out, he gingerly removed the cigarette from his hand, knowing just how _wrong_ this was, if only because of what he was going to glean from this simple action. Placing the cigarette between his lips, he took a careful mouthful of smoke, closing his eyes as his tongue teased around the filter. Releasing the smoke into the air, he tilted his head back and repeated the process, letting his mind enjoy the sensation of the stick, of his own fingertips pressed against his lips. 

Holding it back out to Jason, he had to keep his head turned away, had to hide away how blown he knew his pupils were, how quick his breath actually was. The burn of desire prickled at the back of his thighs, tingling up toward his groin and he _knew_ if he'd had the time, he would have slipped away, found some club with a dingy bathroom... found himself on his knees worshiping some random cock. It wasn't that he was into casual sex, it was just that sometimes he couldn't contain the rush of desire, couldn't stop the driving _need_ from creeping up inside of him. As it stood, the easiest path to getting what he wanted without all the things he didn't was to find places like that, to find _men_ who were more than willing to let an eager twenty-something suck them off after they'd done their business. 

His gaze flicked back to Jason's hand when it came to rest on the railing again and his mind jumped to imagining it doing _other_ things, things far less acceptable for him to be thinking on. He swallowed thickly, took in a deep breath in some desperate bid to steady himself.

Jason moved then, turning to lean back against the rail. The sound of his jacket's zipper brought Damian's mind back to where it should have been and he bowed his head, rubbing at his nose to cover the rush of embarrassment at having been thinking about _Jason_ like that. The clink of metal and then the sound of hinges overrode it though, pushing at his curiosity, bringing his gaze to Jason's hands where he held a small tin. Jason cleared his throat and Damian jerked his eyes up to his face. "You gonna be a snitch?"

Damian didn't bother to stop his confusion from showing. "About what?"

Jason's eyebrow arched and then he gave him the most amused look before palming something from the tin, pushing it back into his jacket pocket, pulling out his lighter. "Just say you won't snitch to B and we're good."

With a shrug, Damian looked back out over the city, distracting himself from the direction of his thoughts. "Whatever. Your actions are your own."

The lighter flared to life and he heard Jason inhale deeply. Just like that, the arousal was back and he silently gave up fighting it. It was clear how he'd end up when they finally went to sleep: his hand down his pajama pants, his fist against his mouth to cover the reckless noises that wanted out. His heartbeat picked up a bit, excited by the prospect of being dirty enough to do it on Jason's couch. 

Sucking his upper lip into his mouth, he captured it between his teeth and slowly let it go, feeling the gentle pain of the pressure and just letting himself get worked up. Sometimes it was best not to fight it.

Jason exhaled and the breeze shifted, bringing the scent back toward Damian, the knowledge of what Jason was smoking sinking in. He would have laughed if he'd been less _turned on_. Shifting slightly, he let his hip rest against the railing, his gaze flicking over the joint Jason held between thumb and forefinger, over the splay of the rest of his fingers, and then to his mouth, watching the steady stream of smoke as it came back out. He could _feel_ the way Jason looked rested on him and when he met his eyes, a certain spark rushed through him. An easy smile slid over Jason's lips as he held up the joint between them. "Have you ever?"

"-tt-," it slipped out without a thought, the chiding sound he couldn't help. "No. Father would not approve."

"Yeah... well... he doesn't rule your life." Jason shrugged, lifting the joint to his lips and taking another hit, coughing slightly as he breathed it back out. "That sort of choice should be yours."

Damian could feel the way his belly tightened, the extra rush of arousal slamming downwards at the idea of smoking something after Jason again. It wasn't about the drug, probably never would be about _what_ it was, only that it had been in his mouth, that it was clutched between his fingers like that... and more so that he knew one of the secrets of Jason's hands now.

He started to reach for the joint, but Jason moved his hand, keeping it away. "First... are you sure?" Damian gave a single nod, the expression on his face belaying his annoyance at being questioned about it. "Second, if you haven't done it, I'd rather regulate it for you. Though, without any of the other equipment, there's really only one good way to do that."

Damian leaned heavily on the railing, his lips pursed as he waited on whatever Jason was trying to get at to come to surface. His eyes flicked from the joint to his face again, finding the barest hint of amusement there.

"You know what shotgunning is?"

"No." While there had been a point in his life where he would have lied, would have claimed to know all, he'd grown to accept that some things, he simply wasn't versed in. Whatever Jason was playing at, Damian had no idea if he was walking into a trap or not, so he'd play along, if for nothing else other than curiosity's sake.

Jason took a step closer, right up into Damian's space. Damian didn't move, didn't flinch back from his presence as he once might have. "Ever kissed a guy?"

Damian nearly snorted, caught himself so that it was only a small inhale of breath. He allowed the amusement to surface on his face, knew there would be a light in his eyes that was built to _tease_. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Jason brought the joint nearly to his lips, a wicked glint in his eyes as he stared Damian down. "Permission to induct you into the world of marijuana?"

This time, he did let out a half laugh, tilting his head back. "Do your worst." He watched Jason's hand lift, watched him take a long drag from the joint. Jason reached out then, hand gently cupping the back of his neck, drawing him in as he leaned in, pressing their lips together, tongue urging his mouth open, and then Jason was breathing the smoke back out into his mouth. Instinctively, Damian inhaled, drawing in everything Jason gave him. 

His hands came up to clutch at Jason's biceps, his entire body damn near quaking with the desire that lit up white hot in his belly. His hips pushed forward and he didn't bother to try to stop himself as he pushed his tongue into Jason's mouth, tasting everything that was Jason Todd.

When he pulled back, Jason was left simply staring at him, shock written clearly in the way he was holding himself. Damian brought his hand up, thumb lightly wiping at his lower lip, coming away slick with saliva. "What? You're the one who brought up kissing."

Jason blinked and then he was back, hands pulling Damian flush up against him, backing him up until the railing dug against his back. One hand slid through his hair and then Jason was yanking his head back, leaning down to suck at his Adam's apple and Damian didn't stop the way his hips jerked forward, didn't hold back the little shocked gasp or the way he sighed out Jason's name as his teeth grazed over the sensitive area. 

Their lips met again and this time it had nothing to do with sharing smoke, had everything to do with a raw desire that Damian had honestly never expected. His hands slid over Jason's chest, meandered over his jacket, all the way down to his hips, fingers pushing up under his shirt, thumbs gliding over the valleys of his hips, caressing the tight pull of muscle over bone. _Want_ poured through him, spreading like wildfire and he knew he was nothing but a slave to it now. 

Turning away from Jason's mouth, he lifted one hand, caught Jason's wrist and tugged his arm up from his waist. He let their eyes meet for an instant, allowed Jason to see the smoldering heat he knew resided there before he turned his head, mouth wandering over the inside of his wrist, flicking and sucking. He paused only long enough to remove the joint from Jason's hand, smothering it out on the railing and pitching it onto the table somewhere behind Jason. Closing his eyes, he pushed his mouth against Jason's palm, tongue slicking over it, his hips rolling forward as he groaned against the heated flesh of his hand. Burrowing his face against his hand, he rubbed his nose and his cheeks against it, finally letting it slide down enough to take his fingers into his mouth, sucking eagerly on two digits. He let his mind drift, allowed himself to think of Jason's fingers as his cock. His tongue slid over the digits, swirling over the tips, and then he plunged his mouth down over them, working them in and out of his mouth a few times before he pulled up, panting. 

He pushed at Jason's chest, easing him back just enough to drop to his knees, hands coming to rest on his belt, every question in the books written on his face as he stared up at him. Before he could speak, Jason was nodding, one hand resting on the railing, the other still threading through his hair. "Yes."

Leaning in, Damian mouthed over the outline of Jason's erection, tongue swiping over the material, teeth grazing a second later. Jason's moan only spurred him on, fingers easily opening his pants without even looking. Drawing the fabric apart, he wasted no time at all in running his tongue over Jason's shaft, not so much as hesitating to take the head into his mouth and suck. Bringing his hand up, he held his palm against the side of his length, dragging his mouth down the other side, leaving a trail of saliva behind. 

Damian's breath rushed out against him as Jason's hand slid through his hair again. He pressed his cheek against his slick length, tongue flicking out to tease, an easy smile curving his lips as he let out a moan of his own, hips rolling against the air, cock pressing hard against the front of his pants. It was ridiculous how easily he was thrown into this pit of lust, how quickly he'd fall to his knees if only instigated the smallest amount. Tilting his head back, Damian let his eyelashes lower, allowed the naughty little grin he _knew_ drove every man he'd been with absolutely crazy grace his lips. "Give me your best." He dragged his tongue over his lower lip and then opened his mouth, waiting... _expectant_.

Jason's hand guided his head, easing his cock into his mouth with a soft groan, and slowly began to thrust over his tongue, hips rolling in a way that had Damian's heart pounding within seconds. He formed his mouth around Jason's cock, flicked his tongue over the head each time he was given the chance, hollowed his cheeks out to suck hard every once in a while. But for the most part, he simply let Jason fuck his mouth, content with the feeling of his flesh sliding between his lips again and again, content to allow his hand to find its way into his sweats to palm his own painfully erect cock. He didn't pleasure himself, didn't move his hand in the least, only offered himself the relief of his hand against himself. His thumb rested over the head, feeling the wetness that gave away just how much he enjoyed this, was certain there was probably a wet stain on the front of his pants from it. 

Jason's hand let go of Damian's head, went to the railing as he shifted his stance and then began to move his hips as though he were truly _fucking_. Damian watched the way his face dissolved into pure pleasure, watched the part of his lips and the way his eyelids grew heavy. He saw the flush of his cheeks, heard the rasp of his breath as he quickened his pace. Heat lanced down toward his cock and he took all the pressure away from it, shifting his pants down enough to expose himself. His hips rolled forward and he flexed his cock hard, holding the tense position as he forced his way into being involved, bobbed quickly over Jason's length, anxious to taste the bitter spill of his cum over his tongue. 

For an instant, Damian felt as though he were about to choke, Jason's thrusts bringing him all the way into his mouth, his cock at full hardness, twitching slightly against his tongue, and then it was happening. The rush of cum flooded his mouth and Damian _didn't_ swallow it away, couldn't be _bothered_. He let Jason lose himself, left him to sink into a frantic position he knew all too well, his hips canting through instinct alone as he filled his mouth with all he had to offer. 

Damian pushed his tongue through the bitter leavings, letting some of it dribble down over his lips, felt it dripping from his chin, sliding down his neck, but he didn't _care_. Jason took a shaky step back, paused to stare down at him, arousal stark in his gaze, and Damian leaned forward, slowly spitting his cum into his hand. Settling back, he wrapped his cum-slicked hand around his cock, letting out a desperate-sounding moan as he rolled his hips, pushing his cock through his tight fist, sighing in relief as he gave in. His legs spread wider and he pushed away from the railing, hunching over, one hand on the concrete, the other going after himself frantically, chasing his orgasm without reserve.

And then Jason was there, wrenching his head back, tongue invading his mouth, kissing him so roughly Damian was certain his lips would bruise, and he _thrived_ on it. His abdominal muscles quivered with the need for release and he moved with the pleas he would never dare to speak aloud. Jason's hand covered his own and when Damian let go, Jason caught his hand, lacing their fingers and brought them back to his cock, working him just as hard as he'd been doing himself. His hips bucked and then he was going completely tense, his muscles straining, a little whine bubbling up, Jason going after him faster. 

When it happened, it was instantly the best orgasm of his life. He shook with the intensity of it, his hips pumping without his permission, his cum coating their fingers as he damn near pulled out of their fists only to shove back through the slick tunnel they'd created, again and again until he was entirely empty. Even then, he gave three more sharp thrusts, pulling back from their kiss to let out something closely resembling a growl, his free hand clutching the iron behind him for added leverage. 

By the time he found himself again, he was gasping for air, shaking on the inside... felt like his whole world had just shattered and reformed. Jason started to pull his hand away, but Damian immediately had his wrist, brought it to his mouth and didn't hesitate to draw his tongue over the wet trails of their combined leavings. He worked until Jason's hand was entirely clean, moving to lick at his wrist where he'd touched him with his own cum-covered hand. Only then did he slump back against the railing, staring up into Jason's face, feeling more satisfied than he'd ever been before. "That was-"

"Amazing," Jason finished for him, reaching up to scrub a hand over his face, threading it through his hair as he breathed out a laugh. "Let me just be completely up front here." He held up a finger and then grinned, throwing his head back and pushing out a breath, shaking his head. "You just rocked my world. Anytime, man... _any_ time you want this, just _do it_. Full permission."

Damian reached down, pulling his pants back into place, moving until he was sitting more comfortably against the rails. "Light it back up, yeah?" He nodded toward the table, letting Jason know where he'd pitched the joint earlier.

Jason stood, pulling his clothing back into order before he shed his jacket, ditching it on the table and snatching up the joint. He lit it back up, walking over and dropping down to sit next to Damian. "You've still got cum all over your face," he offered, voice deceptively calm.

Damian wiped his hand over the back of his mouth, over his chin, and then wiped it on his pants. Bringing his collar up, he got the rest off his neck and then let his head fall back. "I am - possibly - a bit messy."

"You are _possibly_ the sexiest person who's ever sucked my dick." Jason reached over, gently turning Damian's head, taking a long drag from the joint before he sealed his lips over Damian's own, breathing the smoke out into his mouth. Damian took the smoke this time, without kissing him in the midst of it, just drawing it all in and then turning his head to cough, making a little face. 

"You're supposed to cough." Jason slid his arm around Damian's shoulders, holding the blunt to his lips, taking another hit.

Damian couldn't help but watch him, watch the way his fingers gripped, the nearly elegant angle of his wrist and the way he habitually dragged his tongue over his lips after each hit. He shivered and looked away, closing his eyes and just letting the swirl of the drug work its way through his system. "I could stay here forever."

"Yeah... me, too."


End file.
